Realizations of a (still fairly) new mom...

Well I have had a lot on my mind lately with realizations of how having a baby has changed our life...all for the better of course, so I decided to blog them so later in life (after the blogs are printed) when my house is full of teenagers J I can look back at how I viewed life when it was only the 2 of us.  These are just my ramblings (I am sure there are many things I am leaving out) read it you want, close it if it bores you, just know these are my thoughts and don’t JUDGE!

We are late. Everywhere. All the time.  I had never been late a day in my life before--actually I always drove N crazy because we had to be EARLY everywhere. It is OCD/anxiety part of me and I did not want to be late and have people seeing me walk in somewhere.  Well...yeah...out the door! :)  No matter how much preparation I do beforehand we still cannot seem to get out the door in a timely manner.  AND it never fails that even though everything is always laid out and ready she does something to throw a kink in the mix--diaper blowout once she is dressed, spit up on her clothes, etc...or our schedule lately includes extras such as cleaning ears with alcohol (because of piercing), medicine, breathing treatment, suctioning, etc.....

No longer am I reading Cosmo & Glamour for my pleasure reading....those subscriptions have run out and no point in renewing them--have not read the last 5 months I have received.  If I do have pleasure reading time these days (what is that??:)) it is reading the latest copy of Parents Magazine that I have received in the mail.

My worrying has gone from extreme to a whole new level I don't even have the words to describe!!  WOW--N still wonders how this is even possible???  I worry about this kid NON-STOP.  Everything has me analyzing and I wish it would not be this way.  I worry about her anytime she is not in front of me.  I do not feel like anyone will/can take care of her the way I can/do....so anytime she is without me, the worrying is out of this world!

Spit up and daily poop are our dinner table conversations these days...:)

I feel like I am drowning most days...okay, every day!  Never before have we ever paid a bill late, or even remotely too close to the due date (again I drive N nuts but pay bills WAY early or as soon as I get them)....well I have paid 3 bills late recently-OOPS!  Things have just been soooo crazy that the days just came and went and slipped right past me! UGH!  It is the not-daily chores like these that are slipping past--I would rather be playing with baby girl than going to check the computer for the bills.

I have never done soo much laundry!  This little one still has almost daily diaper blow-outs...so everyday I pick her up I get a grocery bag with her dirty clothes....then I get to go home and scrub poopy clothes--this is one daily chore I wish I could do without!

I secretely like washing bottles--shhhh!  (Don't tell Nathan!) :)  In  some sort of odd way, it is kind of relaxing...hot soapy water and washing away the day's troubles!  Don't get me wrong, I will rejoice the day we do not have to wash bottles-well until baby #2 of course-but for now since it is a daily job I just take it and wash them with joy!

I am very cheap when it comes to spending money on myself—I will shop the clearance racks, only cheaper stores, never pay full price for anything, etc….however when it comes to Little Miss, anything is fair game.  I want her to be cute and will not even think three times (yes, I do have to think twice sometimes!) about what we spend on her.

I am much more laid back now—even though I worry sooo much more (if that is even possible) everything just kind of rolls off my back—I am a lot more calm and I do not get so mad if everything is not just perfect.

Losing that baby weight is HARD stuff!  I gained 28 pounds (which according to my dr. was just PERFECT!) during pregnancy obviously putting me at the heaviest I have ever been in my whole life.  I lost the weight after my swelling went down and I thought I looked pretty skinny post-baby.  I know nursing had a lot to do with that but according to the scales at the Dr. office I still have a lot of weight to lose to get back to pre-baby weight.  I was fitting in my pre-baby clothes fine after I went back to work but now I am having troubles again.  UGH!  I know a lot of people do not even make it back to pre-baby weight but I would like to maintain the weight in between babies.  And I don’t know if my metabolism/hormones changed or what because our way of eating has not changed and I stay busy with a VERY active baby….it is hard to find the time to workout, but I feel something should give here?!?!??!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE piddling in her room, going through her clothes, picking out her outfits, matching bows, organizing everything, etc....it never gets old and N knows if he can't find me I am probably in P's room!  Picking out and going through her cute things is WAY more fun than the chore of picking out my clothes for everyday.

I used to cook nice meals (trying out long, time consuming) new recipes pre-baby.  I would also have N's plate fixed and on the table with his tea and as soon as he would get home we could sit and eat (after I slaved daily in the kitchen for a few hours).  These days, I am lucky to whip up a quick (yet still healthy) meal in a short amount of time (while washing bottles, playing with the baby, packing for the next day, etc).  As far as his glass of tea--yeah, he is on his own! :)

I also used to have his wash cloth and towels laid out for him every night before his shower (Spoiled I know!)....he is own in that area too...not that he could not do it for himself, it was just another way to show hime I loved him!  It just took a few times of him getting in the shower and realizing he had no towels to start remembering to get them on his own. :)  He's easy!

I have come to realize I have not gotten anything out of church since she has been born and it gets harder each week.  With a VERY active baby it is hard to sit, focus, and listen on the readings, gospel, sermon, etc.

THese are just a few adjustments to baby laugh--and I am sure I will look back one day and laugh at the things that I am thinking now, but....so is life! :)